Les Miserables

I'm a huge fan of the book, I waited with bated breath for this movie to come out for some time.

First I'll say this, this movie is based on the play that's, obviously, based on the book. Highly condensed and with good reason, lifetimes take place in that book! Beautiful, beautiful lives! There is no possible way you cannot love Jean Valjean, he makes that book have a soul and you follow him from beginning to end with the hope that his life will just finally stop sucking because that asshole Javert is the only one true good cop around! Fucking asshole.

Okay, but the movie, let me say this upfront, if you don't like musicals and the thought of Grease or Cats make your head hurt, don't watch the movie, read the book if you haven't. There's singing entirely throughout the movie with maybe two lines that are spoken. Yes, entirely! Also, if you cry easily take some tissue with you because you will cry multiple times. Anne Hathaway's role as Fantine is heartbreaking, she's the angel of tears every time she opens her mouth. And dude, Russell Crowe, did not expect that voice to come out of his mouth, you'll be pleasantly surprised. 

What I didn't like about the movie was that each story line was already begun for you. You don't see little details and damn it, I wanted the details! Also, it was made to be all about Cosette and Marius, not Jean Valjean. Okay fine, he lived for Cosette's happiness and whatever but it's all about Jean, man! It would have been so epic if the movie had been set in two parts just so they could follow the book more. Hell, if The Hobbit could have embellished parts added onto it and be made into what is it? Two? Three movies? Why couldn't it have been done for Les Mis which is a massive book with immense detail? Very angry about that. But I guess it just wouldn't have been as big a money maker as all the LOTR movies. Says who? I would have gone damn it.

...the movie is good, I just had to complain about that.

~Salinger

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011)

This "horror" movie is one for the kids, ages 10+ imo. It's rated R but, c'mon, these kids watch crazier things (Netflix has a ages 16+ advisory notice). There are a handful of moments when your heart skips a beat from an unexpected scare, but with rat sized creatures (a quick Google Image search will show you what I mean) that are fully shown from early on in the movie, there is little to be scared over. There are an exact two scenes of any actual bloody violence and the first is left a bit more to the imagination.

I'm at the 11 minute countdown to being done and well,  I really stuck with this movie only because it's not completely terrible and I wanted to see the ending. The acting is ok, it's the script that hams things up. And really, the "monsters" are shown too often and are too visible for any sort of suspense. Then there's the child vs adult theme happening, and that's always annoying.

Kid: Daddy, there's monsters here.

Father: It's just your imagination.

You know, that type of thing & no one believes her until it's too late. Also there's a very obvious spin to the Tooth Fairy stories.

Ok, the ending is interesting, it leaves the possibility of a second movie option or just tries to lead the viewer into thinking about how these creatures might increase in numbers. Worth watching if you're into soft "horror" movies.

~Salinger

The Devil Inside

As Bolingbroke already stated, this movie bites. Camera work, the script, lighting, and occasionally the acting all bought a ticket to This Shit Stinks. Bolingbroke pretty much summed it up, so I'll just say the parts that really irked me.

1. Swearing priest - Fine, these were young American priests in Italy, but wow, it's still shocking to hear f-bombs come out from a priests mouth. "What the fuck are we gonna do?!" "Will you just shut the fuck up, we're in a seriously fucked up situation here!" (Okay, those aren't direct quotes, but there was that much fuck going around.)
2. Shitty roles - Everyone was lost. The movie was done in a "documentary" style, so it's supposed to be "raw" footage. Raw describes it well, sewage. Trash. Garbage. The people in charge were assholes, maybe the language barrier? I don't know, and it looked like they didn't either.
3. Shaky camera - Whoa Nelly, was I watching The Devil Inside or The Blair Witch Project? Again, another product of "documentary" style "filming." It's like this throughout the movie, so if you couldn't stand it in the Blair Witch, just don't watch it. La nausea, la vomito. (You get's the King of the Hill reference?)
4. Insta-cured! - The actual exorcisms took all of 10 minutes with minor resistance. I shit you not, it sucked. Except for the peeps performance. I'm talking about the priests.

The only saving grace in this shitty movie were the only two possessed people. And extra kudos to the contortionist. You'll love that part, the movie would not have been so terrible, okay yes it would, but it would have left you with a nice feeling, because you just dropped money for dinner but ended up watching a crapsy movie instead, if the exorcisms were longer. And Another thumbs up to Suzan Crowley, her portrayal of bitchy possessed person was totally convincing. I hates you, ya bitch! See, she was good!

~Salinger