The Devil Inside

As Bolingbroke already stated, this movie bites. Camera work, the script, lighting, and occasionally the acting all bought a ticket to This Shit Stinks. Bolingbroke pretty much summed it up, so I'll just say the parts that really irked me.

1. Swearing priest - Fine, these were young American priests in Italy, but wow, it's still shocking to hear f-bombs come out from a priests mouth. "What the fuck are we gonna do?!" "Will you just shut the fuck up, we're in a seriously fucked up situation here!" (Okay, those aren't direct quotes, but there was that much fuck going around.)
2. Shitty roles - Everyone was lost. The movie was done in a "documentary" style, so it's supposed to be "raw" footage. Raw describes it well, sewage. Trash. Garbage. The people in charge were assholes, maybe the language barrier? I don't know, and it looked like they didn't either.
3. Shaky camera - Whoa Nelly, was I watching The Devil Inside or The Blair Witch Project? Again, another product of "documentary" style "filming." It's like this throughout the movie, so if you couldn't stand it in the Blair Witch, just don't watch it. La nausea, la vomito. (You get's the King of the Hill reference?)
4. Insta-cured! - The actual exorcisms took all of 10 minutes with minor resistance. I shit you not, it sucked. Except for the peeps performance. I'm talking about the priests.

The only saving grace in this shitty movie were the only two possessed people. And extra kudos to the contortionist. You'll love that part, the movie would not have been so terrible, okay yes it would, but it would have left you with a nice feeling, because you just dropped money for dinner but ended up watching a crapsy movie instead, if the exorcisms were longer. And Another thumbs up to Suzan Crowley, her portrayal of bitchy possessed person was totally convincing. I hates you, ya bitch! See, she was good!

~Salinger 

The Devil Inside

The Devil Inside is the name of the movie Salinger and I choose to watch this weekend with my wife  and R. Anyway we were late so caught the 11:40 showing of the movie. Why is this pertinent to know? Because dear reader there we’re four other movies showing at the same or roughly the same time. That should have been the first sign. The second sign should have been when my id got stuck in my wallet and even though everyone is older than me I had to show my id. Pftt.. thir d sign should have been when we got our movie tickets handed too us, they gave us  Mission Impossible 4  tickets. We should have taken his que, movie sucks watch this instead.  Although Twilight and its franchise take the cake in horrible and well there are a few that beat it in stupid (Paranormal Franchise anyone?) It was abysmal. I think I laughed more than I was frightened. Plus the end was super stupid, the premise was predictable. The plot goes like this, in the beginning we are shown the police footage of the discovery of the three murders Maria Rossi committed, and then they fast forward some years to Isabella Rossi who wants to know what really lead her mother to commit those atrocious attacks. Turns out her father who is now dead, revealed to her that she had an exorcism and that this is the reason why she is now in an insane asylum in Rome.  She is on team documentation with Michael who hopes to get good footage. They go to visit Isabella’s mom and get some footage of her acting funky, but mostly like a crazy person not like a possessed person.  They leave after Isabella’s mother gets agitated and angry. They attend some classes and come into contact with two priests who preform exorcism without the Holy See’s blessing or approval.  Isabella wants them to study her mother’s case and help her solve the riddle. … I already got tired of this plot… blah, blah , blah… the priest named Tom gets possessed after performing the exorcism because he is the most vulnerable, he almost drowns a baby during its baptism  (talk about traumatizing). When he gets home he cuts his veins and then as the cops come looking for him he disarms one and takes his gun and offs himself. The demon goes to Isabella who is taken to the hospital for shock and then kills a nurse. The other priest and Michael steal Isabella and they are taking her somewhere to perform a rushed exorcism. However in the car Isabella goes demon on their asses and they crash…. Let’s just say there is going to be a part two.  Oh and mark my words it will have something to do with Fr. Ben’s uncle and how he prolly killed him .. Well it will be about him no doubt. Apart from the obvious problems with this movie including the bad ending, the decidedly shoddy camera work, the less than thrilling scenes and the too obvious plot this movie wasn’t all bad. It could have stared Kristen Stewart! Furthermore what the fuck is up with the posters with the scary nun? She didn’t have more than 2 seconds of screen time and it was really stupid to put her as poster (actually good marketing strategy but false advertising.) ….. Let’s just say this movie fell way below par. 
...Bolingbroke...