Hell

Hell by Robert Olen Butler, is the last in a string of random novels that I have just picked up. I bought this novel on a whim a couple of weeks ago, the cover art caught me and just didn't let me go. It was my reading project for the week and I can honestly say that it was ... wait for it.... ehhh. just like that. Here's the skinny bitches: Hatcher McCord award winning journalist on earth is now and forever shall be in Hell. He is now anchorman of the Evening News From Hell. Although he is set with a cast were you honestly can't lose, the story does. Firstly his girlfriend is Anne Boleyn, yes that one, anyway there is so much material with that character it makes one wonder why he didn't use her to his full advantage. Firstly she stays in the apartment all the time and her ending is so weak. I think in fact that might be the downright fact. The story has potential and is so weak. He meets all these interesting and renowned people and you get excited to meet them or get to know them through Hatcher but the result is usually a major let down.  I think the saddest part of the book was perhaps the end, where he gets a chance to maybe escape and turns it down. The whole book is about his search for Heaven and when he finds it he turns it down. Why in the world would anyone do that? Why choose a life where everyone you hate is congregated in approximately the same breathing space as you? Bitch please, this book was sometimes HELL to read. (pun intended) It didn't prove to be a good time filler, more like you started it, now finish it. I hated that Hatcher had so much freedom, hated that he got to roam around Hell and hated that Satan was just sitting and watching instead of taking torturous action. I think that oddly enough my biggest plight with the novel was this: If Lilith (grand matron of the succubi) had two main daughters, why on any plane of souls would she name them "Lily" or "Lulu"? I mean come on! Be creative and not half-assed. Furthermore Butler uses famous peoples names like I use toilet paper, an unnecessary amount, and it ends up like the product, flushed down the toilet, he just throws names around, talk about name dropper without any probable cause. It was not what I expected, it left me wanting more. Bolingbroke not pleased.
...Bolingbroke...

The Devil Inside

The Devil Inside is the name of the movie Salinger and I choose to watch this weekend with my wife  and R. Anyway we were late so caught the 11:40 showing of the movie. Why is this pertinent to know? Because dear reader there we’re four other movies showing at the same or roughly the same time. That should have been the first sign. The second sign should have been when my id got stuck in my wallet and even though everyone is older than me I had to show my id. Pftt.. thir d sign should have been when we got our movie tickets handed too us, they gave us  Mission Impossible 4  tickets. We should have taken his que, movie sucks watch this instead.  Although Twilight and its franchise take the cake in horrible and well there are a few that beat it in stupid (Paranormal Franchise anyone?) It was abysmal. I think I laughed more than I was frightened. Plus the end was super stupid, the premise was predictable. The plot goes like this, in the beginning we are shown the police footage of the discovery of the three murders Maria Rossi committed, and then they fast forward some years to Isabella Rossi who wants to know what really lead her mother to commit those atrocious attacks. Turns out her father who is now dead, revealed to her that she had an exorcism and that this is the reason why she is now in an insane asylum in Rome.  She is on team documentation with Michael who hopes to get good footage. They go to visit Isabella’s mom and get some footage of her acting funky, but mostly like a crazy person not like a possessed person.  They leave after Isabella’s mother gets agitated and angry. They attend some classes and come into contact with two priests who preform exorcism without the Holy See’s blessing or approval.  Isabella wants them to study her mother’s case and help her solve the riddle. … I already got tired of this plot… blah, blah , blah… the priest named Tom gets possessed after performing the exorcism because he is the most vulnerable, he almost drowns a baby during its baptism  (talk about traumatizing). When he gets home he cuts his veins and then as the cops come looking for him he disarms one and takes his gun and offs himself. The demon goes to Isabella who is taken to the hospital for shock and then kills a nurse. The other priest and Michael steal Isabella and they are taking her somewhere to perform a rushed exorcism. However in the car Isabella goes demon on their asses and they crash…. Let’s just say there is going to be a part two.  Oh and mark my words it will have something to do with Fr. Ben’s uncle and how he prolly killed him .. Well it will be about him no doubt. Apart from the obvious problems with this movie including the bad ending, the decidedly shoddy camera work, the less than thrilling scenes and the too obvious plot this movie wasn’t all bad. It could have stared Kristen Stewart! Furthermore what the fuck is up with the posters with the scary nun? She didn’t have more than 2 seconds of screen time and it was really stupid to put her as poster (actually good marketing strategy but false advertising.) ….. Let’s just say this movie fell way below par. 
...Bolingbroke...